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The Pumpkinhead Chronicles
Not to be confused with Pimpkinhead The Pumpkinhead series was brought to our attention when a copy of the third movie lept through LTFish's window. He never looked back (primarily out of fear that he'd see his guts all over his keyboard). The Pumpkinhead series, it should be noted, has a complex and diverse canon including movies, comic books, action figures, and even our own TROL SEASSON. It is said in the legend scrawled on golden tablets that s/he who deciphers the legendary riddle of the trilogy will be granted Pumpkinhead's very own Nikes as a boon. 'Lore' Legendary wordsmith scarnsworth has recently unearthed some shocking discoveriesabout the lost tales of Pumpkinhead. He may or may not be fucking with us about it, though. 'Pumpkinhead' The first Pumpkinhead movie is primarily notable because it had the privilege of having the esteemed (and highly intoxicated) Moronis act as its Casting Director. His suggestions were, unfortunately, largely ignored; he was able to cast Air Bud as the movie's dog, but his suggestion of having the great Nichols Cage act as every other character was ignored. The beginning of the movie is largely unnotable, as with most slasher films, so the first thing that virtually anyone remembers about it is the scene in which two drunken idiots on motorcycles ram into a small child after hitting a sweet-ass ramp. Our apparent antagonist, Kid on Bike #1, forces everyone to shut up about the accident under the grounds that he's slightly drunk and fears that he will...get a DUI? The child is apparently dead (or dying), but his awful child actor still blinks when the camera is lingering on his body. When the father finds out about his son's death, he takes him to the resident witch to be revived, but she apparently can't help him for some reason. This leads to a series of events in which he ressurrects a powerful demon to get revenge for his son (probably thinking that this "Pumpkinhead" character will give the murderer a stern talking to, seeing how he freaks out about him killing people later). The movie then transitions into the second act for about 5 minutes before moving on to the third. A large number of characters that no one can differentiate from each other are killed within a short period, and a man is actually stabbed with a shotgun before the reign of terror ends via some mediocre special effects and what appeared to be a flamethrower. 'Pumpkinwings 64' More of a buddy-cop movie than a horror movie. 'Pumpkinhead 3 (Ashes to Ashes)' This movie begins by switching quite obviously from the slasher genre of the other movies to the torture-porn of the saw generation. This includes a graphic scene in which a body is cut open (complete with close-ups and "realistically minimalistic" gore), as well as a scene where a guy is stabbed with a pitchfork and just screams for a minute. It's mostly just an awful Sci-Fi (now dubbed Sy-Fy) movie that follows the basic formula of the last few: Ignore the past canon, create a revenge plot, summon Pumpkinhead, light Pumpkinhead on fire, etc., and add in some out-of-place regret from the summoner near the middle/end for good measure. The biggest difference is in the minor details, like the constant torture porn, or the fact that we see Pumpkinhead's shitty CGI resurrection (a first for the series, apparently). There's...there's lots of shitty CGI involved; far too much to describe. It plays up the voodoo element quite a bit, but that isn't really all that impressive and just gets repetitive. At one point, we see Pumpkinhead meekly shake a ladder that a man is climbing just above him. It's really sad to watch. Category:Movies